Lucky 13, that's just how many shocking comments this physician claimed his patients actually made while he was performing their colonoscopies. Enjoy! (Not referring to a colonoscopy that is...)

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there." (our favorite)