Cow Joke 1
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.

Cow Joke 2
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !

Cow Joke 3
Camper: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd. Camper: Heard what? Farmer: Of cows. Camper: Sure I’ve heard of cows. Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd. Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!

Cow Joke 4
Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don’t work.

Cow Joke 5
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer. Is that bull safe? Well, he’s a lot safer than you are right now!

Cow Joke 6
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. “Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!” the farmer answered.

Cow Joke 7
Cow: Why don’t you shoo those flies? Bull: I ll let them go barefoot!

Cow Joke 8
Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows? No, he just grazed them!

Cow Joke 9
Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Cow Joke 10
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare!

Cow Joke 11
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed!

Cow Joke 12
How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up!

Cow Joke 13
How did the calf’s final exam turn out? Grade A!

Cow Joke 14
What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moosician!

Cow Joke 15
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down

Cow Joke 16
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them!

Cow Joke 17
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.

Cow Joke 18
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!

Cow Joke 19
How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It’s a place of udder delight.

Cow Joke 20
I can’t decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well, wouldn’t you look silly riding a cow? I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!

Cow Joke 21
I hear you take milk baths. That’s right. Why? I can’t find a cow tall enough for a shower!

Cow Joke 22
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half!

Cow Joke 23
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? “Beeflt!”

Cow Joke 24
If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you get? Milk and quackers!

Cow Joke 25
If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!

Cow Joke 26
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She ll cream you!

Cow Joke 27
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York!

Cow Joke 28
Is there big money in the cattle business? So I’ve herd!

Cow Joke 29
I’ve just discovered a method for making wool out of milk! But doesn’t that make the cow feel a little sheepish?

Cow Joke 30
Pa’s being chased by a bull! Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it? Get me some film for my camera!

Cow Joke 31
Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows!

Cow Joke 32
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told you he was a bum steer!

Cow Joke 33
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven’t found the durn thing yet!

Cow Joke 34
What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.

Cow Joke 35
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs!

Cow Joke 36
What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines

Cow Joke 37
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues

Cow Joke 38
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand!

Cow Joke 39
What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?

Cow Joke 40
What did the calf say to the silo? “Is my fodder in there?”

Cow Joke 41
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.

Cow Joke 42
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? “Hey! Look at the cow’s nest!”

Cow Joke 43
What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes!

Cow Joke 44
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.

Cow Joke 45
What do cows do when they re introduced? They give each other a milk shake!

Cow Joke 46
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever

Cow Joke 47
What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.

Cow Joke 48
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.

Cow Joke 49
What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic!

Cow Joke 50
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper!

Cow Joke 51
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? “Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo

Cow Joke 52
What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.

Cow Joke 53
What do cows wear when they re vacationing in Hawaii? Moo moos

Cow Joke 54
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger!

Cow Joke 55
What do you call a bull that’s sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef!

Cow Joke 56
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef

Cow Joke 57
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter!

Cow Joke 58
What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef

Cow Joke 59
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world!

Cow Joke 60
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.

Cow Joke 61
What do you call a tired cow? Milked out!

Cow Joke 62
What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk? A milk dud!

Cow Joke 63
What do you call a cow that fell in a hole? A hole-y Cow!

Cow Joke 64
What do you call a cow that’s just had a baby? De-calfinated!

Cow Joke 65
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er.

Cow Joke 66
What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.

Cow Joke 67
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle!

Cow Joke 68
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.

Cow Joke 69
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out!

Cow Joke 70
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream!

Cow Joke 71
What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit!

Cow Joke 72
What do you get from a forgetful cow? Milk of amnesia!

Cow Joke 73
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk!

Cow Joke 74
What do you get from an invisible cow? Evaporated milk!

Cow Joke 75
What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk!

Cow Joke 76
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo!

Cow Joke 77
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood!

Cow Joke 78
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato!

Cow Joke 79
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin!

Cow Joke 80
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef!

Cow Joke 81
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire? Dracowla!

Cow Joke 82
What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo? A kangamoo!

Cow Joke 83
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows!

Cow Joke 84
What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!

Cow Joke 85
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa!

Cow Joke 86
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.

Cow Joke 87
What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank!

Cow Joke 88
What goes oo ooo oooo? A cow with no lips.

Cow Joke 89
What hair style is a calf’s favorite? The cowlick!

Cow Joke 90
What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody’s herd.

Cow Joke 91
What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.

Cow Joke 92
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos!

Cow Joke 93
What has four legs and goes, “Oom! Oom!”? A cow walking backwards!

Cow Joke 94
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat? Bullogna

Cow Joke 95
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle!

Cow Joke 96
What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Ground round!

Cow Joke 97
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer!

Cow Joke 98
What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer? A woolly bully!

Cow Joke 99
What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay!

Cow Joke 100
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail!

Cow Joke 101
What is the definition of “derange”? De place where de cowboys ride!

Cow Joke 102
What is the definition of “moon”? The past tense of “moo”!

Cow Joke 103
What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!

Cow Joke 104
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.

Cow Joke 105
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos!

Cow Joke 106
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!

Cow Joke 107
What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.

Cow Joke 108
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!

Cow Joke 109
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a

Cow Joke 110
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves!

Cow Joke 111
What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!

Cow Joke 112
What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit? Hare in your milk!

Cow Joke 113
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!

Cow Joke 114
What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!

Cow Joke 115
What’s a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd!

Cow Joke 116
What’s a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow!

Cow Joke 117
What’s a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy!

Cow Joke 118
What’s a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer!

Cow Joke 119
What’s a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull!

Cow Joke 120
What’s a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull!

Cow Joke 121
What’s a moo hoo for a young calf? A new moo!

Cow Joke 122
What’s a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class!

Cow Joke 123
What’s a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud!

Cow Joke 124
When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head? Steer phones!

Cow Joke 125
When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.

Cow Joke 126
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case!

Cow Joke 127
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria!

Cow Joke 128
Where do cows like to live? St. Moo-is.

Cow Joke 129
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.

Cow Joke 130
Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf

Cow Joke 131
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows!

Cow Joke 132
Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow!

Cow Joke 133
Where do steers go to dance? To the Meat Ball!

Cow Joke 134
Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way!

Cow Joke 135
Why are cpws made for dancing? They re all born hoofers!

Cow Joke 136
Why couldn’t the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized!

Cow Joke 137
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher!

Cow Joke 138
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Cow Joke 139
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!

Cow Joke 140
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk!

Cow Joke 141
Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

Cow Joke 142
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow’s food? He wanted to raised stewed beef!

Cow Joke 143
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!

Cow Joke 144
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!

Cow Joke 145
Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!

Cow Joke 146
Why doesn’t Sweden export it’s cattle? It wants to keep it’s Stockholm!

Cow Joke 147
Why don’t cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry!

Cow Joke 148
Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rustling!

Cow Joke 149
Why was the calf afraid? He was a cow-herd!

Cow Joke 150
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!

Cow Joke 151
Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow! Was it a Jersey cow? I don’t know, I didn’t see her license plate!

Cow Joke 152
What is a cow’s favourite TV show ? Dr Moo !

Cow Joke 153
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have ? Plenty of milk !

Cow Joke 154
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat ? Put him in a tight jumper !

Cow Joke 155
Why do cows like being told jokes ? Because they like being amoosed !

Cow Joke 156
What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ? A cow that can milk itself !

Cow Joke 157
Q. What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A. A shadow

Cow Joke 158
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.